A Year in Review.

So I found a list that I made at the beginning of the year and I just thought since its almost time for new resolutions I would do a quick year in review.

1. Cook 52 new things this year.... Yea I totally fell off on this. I started off the year pretty good with some new soups and during my Daniel Fast I came up with some new awesome vegetarian recipies but after the spring faded so did my time. This is something I would like to try again for 2011 with a renewed dedication I WILL do it this time around.

2. Loose 20 Pounds By Dec.... I am proud to say I lost 10. I am aiming for 20 again this coming year though!

3. Read 3 Harry Potter Books.... OK In my defense I decided to Read the Lovely Bones before I started on Harry Potter because everyone insisted that it was so wonderful....I didnt really like it at all. I understand the supposed Hype but it really just didnt do it for me. It took me FOREVER to get through it which is not typical for me. Then insert School Books. But Im 2/3 Done with HP 1 now and i should be starting HP 2 by tomorrow. Actually this is still a feasible goal for me One more week to go!

4. Read the New Testament...... This swiched into reading the entire Bible I read Genesis-Judges. SMH. Not happy about that. This year I will stick to the New Testament, Like I orginally planned (PS Whoever is looking for AWESOME reading plans go to www.youversion.com its amazing and they have BBerry and Iphone/Ipod Apps!)

5. I had a goal to pay off one of my Credit Cards this year...ACCOMPLISHED! and to raise my Credit Score to a certain range... ACCOMPLISHED!!

6. Start School full time by August ACCOMPLISHED!

7. Quit Hyatt by August for school ACCOMPLISHED!

8. Tithe Now I really shouldnt be proud of having to even add this but I rarely tithed in 2009. 2010 I would say I tithed about 60-70% of the time. The difference with this year is I decided to keep track of money made, so when I get my report from the church I can catch up. BC I think its crazy that we will play catch up with our bills or time worked at a job but not with God's Money So I promised to pay Him back.

9. I had a promise to work on certain things with the person I was seeing at the time the year turned. I can honestly say I worked on those things and became better at those said things but he is no longer in my life. So even though he isnt doesnt mean I didnt do the work to be a better Girlfriend and Potential Wife one day. So for that I will say. ACCOMPLISHED!!!!!!!!

Hope you guys enjoyed this little glimpse into my life. I would love comments from you guys.
What did you resolve to do or not do? Did you accomplish it? What would you change for this year around?

All my love

Signing Out,
Deanna Amarica

My Voice

So, most people that know me know that I sing. Not a little bit and not sometimes. All the time. I also need to know the lyrics, it drives me crazy when I don't. I've learned I don't always have to sing ABOVE the music, and I try my damndest to hear the counter part I attempt occasionally to sing counter and fail every time. (Im a soprano's soprano me and the melody are one).

When people ask or say to me. Do you sing? or Oh you sing? I tell them. I retired. They laugh and I chuckle then proceed to die a little inside.

See music is the one inanimate thing that actually has a soul, that soul, breaks my heart.

As a Child my mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said. A Disney Voice. I want to talk like Belle and Sing all the songs. My favorite movies as a child were all Musicals Blockbuster night was hellacious with 3 brothers, Bruce Lee usually won the vote. But I knew if given the chance I could Dance with Anna and the King, and Twirl on a mountaintop with Julie Andrews and Belt out the music.

I sang my first Solo at 4. I woke up singing the Star Spangled Banner as a child, and my brother Brian decided that something was wrong with me because no one wakes up that happy. A life with music even that young made me happy. I consistently was one of the highest range singers in school. Upon correct vocal training I made All State Choir my 10th Grade Year. After my transplant when I was 16, after I got out of the hospital, I tried to sing. I couldn't. All the cutting and scars in my stomach I couldn't breathe properly. My Senior year I couldn't fit music into my school schedule. My first semester of college I took music again. After that I came home and had to work and go to school. My parents didn't think a music degree would aptly prepare me to take care of myself being sickly, So my songs Died. After a while I stopped writing lyrics, I stopped composing. I was mad at God. Why have this gift that I cant do anything with? Now. With a rusty instrument people hear me and say. wow that sounds good. And I know I am capable of better I know this isn't my true voice.

I've gone back and forth for years debating and struggling if I should get back into the music, if I have the heart to do it. I decided I cant live my life without it. I may never be popular and I may Never tour I don't care. thats ok. My children one day may loathe that I sing all the time. But I cannot deny my gift. Its the one thing I have ever excelled at. So. I'm getting back into vocal training. Ill share with you my process. Lets see how this goes. I'm taking Back my Voice

Signing Out.

Deanna Amarica

Just Thoughts

The past month has been a pretty interesting one for me to say the least. I have been writing a lot, mostly personal journals, but this one is good enough to share abroad.

I was thinking and reading in the Bible today and was reminded of this verse

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1Cor 13:7NLT

Coming out of where I have been it would be really easy to see this as holding on. I want the ones closest to me to know that this is not the case. This actually in all essence instead is me being free, because I know how to love. I know what this means. I know how to put this into action. I'm proud of myself for it and am better for it.

Someone once gave me this quote.

"The Faithless know the trivial side of love, it is the faithful that know loves tragedies."

But when I researched it. I realized the author Oscar Wilde actually wrote it completely opposite. The proper quote is

"Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies."

Funny enough, Depending on how you look at it, it works both ways. Its always easier to see and think that what you lost is more than someone else, but loss is loss no matter how you slice it.

Its so easy when things don't turn out our way to throw away the entire experience as if everything was bad. God allowed me (due to my own stubbornness) to go through the wilderness for a while for something that may (or may not) have taken a lot less time to learn if I decided to be faithful to Him first. I lost sight of where I was supposed to be. I didn't listen to what I knew to do and have suffered many a consequence for it. But even in the middle of things that on the outside look bad. to me in the long run its actually GOOD! What i learned could not have been taught or told to me any other way. and I know I am better for it. I know who I am, and where I'm going, and what I am capable of because of this. Theres a verse that says (summary) What Man May Intend for Evil God Can Mean for Good. Its funny how that is true.

But theres something about truth. Theres something to the saying that the Truth will Set You Free, see because I'm able to face myself every morning and know my heart and know my intention, and know the beauty behind it all. I can see how something intended for evil turned out good for me. I'm grateful for the experience and I know that my heart is capable of great love and I know as a great person I deserve a great love back.

So yes love doesn't give up.....

Love doesn't loose faith.....

Love is Always Hopeful....

Love endures through every circumstance....

I know these things because I lived them. In spite and Despite I lived them, and now without a doubt. I can live it again.

Food....

I made a few Goals at the begining of this year. One of them being to make 52 new dishes that I had never made before. I started out ok in January with a few soups, but then life took over me and I feel off the tracks.
I am determined to be a woman of my word this year. I have a few more things that I desparately need to accomplish so I decided to use my blog as a way to start listing the foods that I cook and how they come out. With only 5 months left in the year, thats actually a lot to accomplish, so I definitely am going to need the good luck votes.

Signing Out
Dee

The Beginning

I really should be doing homework, I have this innate need (apparently) to procrastinate. Instead Im watching House and analyzing characters. Which Im not quite sure how fictional characters are directly related to me reading about the industrial age in history.

I recently went from working one and a half jobs to just a half of one. I decided to go back to school. Change so far is pretty good spending habits are hard to break, but I dont really have a choice if I want to stay in my apartment :)

Concentrating on work is even harder. I feel so restless. I understand what needs to be done, but lack of motivation isnt something that you can take a pill for, neither lack of focus. All I know is at the end of the day I need to make an A in this class, bringing myself to the point of all of this.

This is the beginning, this is my first blog and my small attempt to keep myself on task. Holding myself accountable to the words that I put here. Maybe it will work, Maybe it wont. At this point the only thing I can do is try......

Signing Out,
Dee